We are grateful to Brooke Robertson for her openness and vulnerability in sharing her experience, helping bring visibility, understanding, and comfort to other women facing similar loss.

When Brooke was invited to attend wine industry seminar– moving the industry forward – in McMinnville she was thrilled with the opportunity. Traveling from her vineyard in Eastern Oregon (The Rocks District) to be part of this seminar “was uplifting” Brooke recalls.

After a day of exhilarating conversation, Brooke retired to her hotel excited for next steps. As she rested, she began to experience an odd feeling, a sort of mild pain, but noticeable. Being 17 weeks pregnant she monitored, wondering, could this be a contraction? Through the night the pain became worrisome, and she made the decision to cancel her morning plans and go to the hospital, calling her husband on the way.

When she arrived at the emergency department, the pain became much worse, “I remember screaming as each contraction hit and became more frequent.” The emergency team called Dr. Wilson-Smith, OBGYN, and Brooke was transferred to the birthing center. There the team began to prepare for what was now apparent, Brooke was going into labor too soon.

Brooke’s dearest friend lived close and came and sat with her. As the friends cried, her friend coached her on things she needs to do now, ‘if you don’t you will never have this opportunity’, and nurses Breanna and Jessica were there guiding conversations about what was to come.

“My baby girl waited till my husband got there.” Matt had to make the 5-hour drive with their 2.5-year-old daughter to get to McMinnville.

Loss like this is terrifying. “I was surround by those women, that staff, was there, they were present, honest, telling me what was going to happen. They made the best of a horrible situation.” Brooke said.

Brooke had experienced a blood clot in the placenta which caused the fetal demise. She remembers the team telling her this wasn’t her fault, reassuring her while grieving with her and her husband.

When delivered, Brooke’s baby girl weighed 132 grams and fit in the palm of her hand. Brooke could see all her toes, fingers and little face. Time with her baby was made possible by a device called a Caring Cradle which preserves a baby’s body giving precious time and space to families to grieve. “They brought her to me. These women were so caring, telling me ‘We got You, take all the time you need’. The level of care at your facility is above and beyond.”

Taking the advice from her friend, Brooke held her baby, had the birthing center nurses take pictures, make foot and handprints, and supported her Jewish faith with commending her body within 24 hours.

“The care I received was amazing. I told the birthing center director Jennifer that if I am ever pregnant again, I will drive 5 hours to deliver here. With the amount of love your team gave me with my baby, who was not going home, I can’t imagine the love you give to those families that get to take their baby with them” Brooke concluded.

Brooke needs more time and has yet to look at the pictures on the USB drive, but she is thankful for her friend who guided her toward this decision. She also wants other women to know that loss like this is more common than you think, and it is not your fault. There is a community of women who have experience this loss early in their pregnancy and much later, talk about it, share your story, it helps with the grieving process to know you are not alone.